Qualities of Godly Fathers

• One That Ruleth Well his Own House - God commands fathers to teach, discipline, and rule their households. As early as Gen 18:19 we note God’s expectation for Abraham as the head of his family: “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him”. A similar command was given in Deu 6:7: “thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children”. 1 Tim 3:5 postulates, how the Elders and Deacons in an institutional Church were to be selected to a high degree on the basis of how well they ruled their own households. This verse should still reflect the goals of all Christian fathers with respect to teaching and disciplining the children whom God has entrusted to their care. God’s words about rearing children in the Scriptures are not just “suggestions” – they are commandments that we must strive to obey. Let’s consider 1 Tim 3:4, “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity”. To “rule” is to, “maintain”, or “be over”. God has assigned this vitally important task to all fathers. Naturally, if there is no father, these responsibilities are then incumbent on the mother. May God give us the grace to perform these most important biblical duties with faithfulness and kindness. 

Psa 127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

1 Tim 3:12 “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.”

1 Tim 3:5 “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?”

Rom 12:8 “Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.”

Gen 18:19 “For I know him [Abraham], that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.”

• Having his Children in Subjection with All Gravity - Now let's consider second part of 1 Tim 3:4, “One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity”. What does it mean to have one’s children “in subjection with all gravity” and to have “faithful children not accused of riot or unruly” found in Tit 1:6? Luke 2:51 is speaking of the Savior Himself, Who, as a boy, humbly submitted Himself to His earthly parents. What an outstanding example for all children and adults as well! Rom 13:1 announces a key principle for obeying all God-ordained authority. Fathers, we need to cultivate these characteristics of submission and obedience to the Bible in our own lives, as well as in the lives of our children. The word “riot” means “excess”, “out of control” and also rendered as “disobedient” and “not put under”, as in 1 Tim 1:9. The idea here is that the children are not to be “out of control” since “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child…”, according to Pro 22:15a. Riotous and unruly behavior must never be tolerated and must be corrected immediately, firmly, and consistently so the child will understand that he cannot get away with such unacceptable behavior. In Heb 12:8 we learn that God “chastens” His children for their spiritual “profit”, and unlike an earthly father, our Heavenly Father never makes mistakes, and His discipline – though “grievous” – “yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness” as an end result. Rev 3:19 admonishes, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”. Eph 6:4 underscores, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”. We provoke our children to wrath by over-disciplining or under-disciplining them. The right-discipline is to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”.

Tit 1:6 “If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.”

Luke 2:51 “And he [Jesus] went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them [His parents]: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.”

Rom 13:1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”

Pro 3:11-12 “My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

Heb 12:6-11 “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

• Having his Children Steadfast in God - Have you ever wondered why we don’t have to teach our children to be selfish, or mean, or rebellious? It is a part of their human nature – even as it is with every one of us. And that is precisely what Eph 2:1-3 teaches. We inherited this sinful nature from Adam. At the very onset we learn that God clearly established laws, or rules, that Adam was expected to obey (Gen 2:15-17) – and had the ability to do so. God also informed Adam that disobedience to his commands would result in death, spiritual death. This concept of God’s Law (which is the entire Bible) and the eternal consequences of violating His Law (eternal damnation) is of supreme importance to the human race. There are also other ways that we, as fathers, teach rules, and how the breaking of those rules results in specific consequences. As fathers, we have a divine obligation to teach our children the Gospel of Christ, which is the whole Bible and we need to be reminded of our solemn responsibility to train, correct, and discipline our children in love. One aspect of Tit 1:6 that I don’t want to overlook is the phrase, “... having faithful children…”. I cannot emphasize this enough; As fathers we can modify behavior, and it is part of our responsibility to ensure that there is an atmosphere of order and tranquility in our homes. However, that in itself will not produce salvation, or “faithful children”, only “the rod of correction” which is the “Word of God” can produce Faith unto Salvation since “So then faith [cometh] by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Rom 10:17)”. God’s Word, the two-edge sword which has power to deliver ones soul from hell, is the source of all divine instruction, nurture, admonition, chastening and correction.This has to be the ultimate aim of all our prayers for our children, all our training, all our correction, all our discipline, and all our love. May it bear the fruit of 2 Tim 3:15, if God should allow: “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus”.

Eph 2:1-3 “And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation [or lifestyle] in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.”

2 Tim 3:16 “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction [nurture] in righteousness:”

Pro 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction [the Word of God] shall drive it far from him.”

Pro 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Pro 23:13 “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod [the Word of God], he shall not die [eternally].”

Deu 6:7 “And thou shalt teach them [God’s commandments] diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Psa 78:4-8 “We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.”

• One That Sets the Example - As parents we are also subject to the same authority as our children – God’s Word – and we need to clearly explain this fact to our children. Thus, parents and children are to walk humbly and obediently before the Word of God. Without a doubt, one of the most difficult arenas in which to be a witness is among our own family members. It is indeed a proving ground without parallel, and we face all kinds of tests daily. How are we going to react? Are we going to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit or the works of the flesh? The word “teach” in this highly significant verse Deu 11:9, is directed to all true believers, especially those who are Christian parents. As we think about the enormous implications inherent in this verse, we must first recognize the importance of examining ourselves to determine if I, as a parent, have indeed become a child of God. This is a prerequisite in order to teach any child truth from the Bible. Psa 50:16 warns the unsaved “What hast thou to do to declare my statutes” and 2 Cor 13:5 warns each individual to “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith”, to meditate and walk in the Word of God. Another reason why this is so critical is because children learn more by the example set by the parent (or parents) than by any other means. Thus, as parents, we must beseech the Lord for His strength and grace in order to live out what we believe in front of our children; in other words, doctrine and daily living must go hand in hand. Thus, family life according to God’s Word becomes the forge, hammer, and anvil that shape our Christian living and growth. Without a doubt the greatest lesson our children will learn will be to follow not so much what we say, but rather what we do. This is the overwhelmingly profound influence of example. Consider the words of Jam 1:22-25 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves ...”. 2 Tim 1:5 highlights this heavenly truth as well. If any of our children becomes a true child of God, it is only by the mercy of God; but whatever happens we can rest in the knowledge that God does “all things well”, according to Mark 7:37. Psa 127:1 is a magnificent tribute to God’s constant faithfulness: “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it ...”.

Jos 1:7-9 “Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersoever thou goest. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”

Deu 11:19 “And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Psa 50:16-17 “But unto the wicked [unsaved] God saith, What hast thou to do to declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant [or God’s law] in thy mouth? 17Seeing thou hatest instruction, and castest my words behind thee.”

2 Cor 13:5 “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?”

Jam 1:22-25 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.”

2 Tim 1:5 “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.”

Psa 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”